Love of Impending Demise
by Towie
Summary: HC oneshot based off of the occurances of Euphoria: Part 1. Get in their heads to see what they were really thinking. Bouncing viewpoints. All feedback lovely. Full description inside.


What was House thinking during _Euphoria – Part 1_? What would have happened if he had acted on his ponderings? This fic will put you in his head, as well as Cameron's, for a little _"what if?"_ magic.

Disclaimer: There are lines pulled from the show. I did the best I could from memory. Also, please don't take offense to the derogatory comments going through House's head. It wouldn't be House without them. If you are able to read objectively, it'll be fine. If you can't read this without getting personal about it, then don't read it at all. And if you do read it anyway and get offended, keep your mouth shut, I don't want to hear about it.

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**Love of Impending Demise**

"No one is going back to that apartment until we know what we are looking for," House said, with conviction.

He was right of course. She couldn't go back without risking her life. She was going to be taking a chance even if she were in the suit, but Foreman was dying. She had to help him. Well, House did have a good point. Foreman didn't consider her a friend. Why was it that she was friendless? She had no one. Not unless you counted Chase because of that one night of raunchy spite sex. And that was even more discredited because she was high on meth. She couldn't feel any more remorse for that. She couldn't believe she was so stupid to get high and fuck him. What an idiot... what an idiot...

She glanced at House. What was that look in his eye? Was that fear? No. No way. Not House. Fear? Ha. This is the man with no morals. This is the man who had them give a colonoscopy to a patient without any anesthetic. This man did not fear. Or was it personal now? Now his own doctors were at risk. No. He sent Foreman there without any show of caution. Was this about her? No. It couldn't be. He wasn't telling Chase to go. But, it was more or less a guaranteed risk factor. Next to nothing was certainly not nothing.

Caution was right, but it wasn't House.

**LID**

"No one is going back to that apartment until we know what we are looking for," he said, with a tone of caution in his voice.

He eyed Cameron. She was just standing there, staring blankly. Obviously she was thinking about some way to get into the apartment without him knowing. How could she have even considered going there? Risking her life for Foreman. Seriously. He was _black_ after all. He silently laughed.

Cameron's eyes were no longer blank. They were boring into him. Their eyes were locked. What was she thinking? Was she being a typical woman? Was she thinking of every possible meaning for his simple rule? It was clear, with an obvious reason. What more could she see in it?

Well, maybe he was being a little more cautious than usual.

**LID**

"Ouch!" she yelled.

"There, now you've been exposed," Foreman said. "Now you either tell House what just happened, or you go to that apartment and save yourself, too!"

Damn. She couldn't believe he just did that. He just stabbed her. He just took a used needle and stabbed her! Now she was exposed to whatever he had. What as asshole. She wished death on him. No. No, she didn't. She un-wished. A dead Foreman was not good news for her. A dead Foreman meant she might be following in his path. That was out of the question. Not with all the things she still had to do and say.

She was screwed. She had no choices left. No chances could be taken. If the needle had managed to infect her, she wouldn't know until after it was too late to check out the apartment. If she wasn't infected, she'd get infected trying to save herself from nothing. It was a lose-lose situation

She suited up and left.

**LID**

House was on his motorcycle.

How could she do this? He had given her explicit orders not to visit that apartment. He'd done it for a reason. _You live under the delusion that you can fix everything that isn't perfect. That's why you married a man who was dying of cancer. You don't love, you need. And now that your husband is dead, you're looking for your new charity case. That's why you're going out with me. I'm twice your age, I'm not great looking, I'm not charming, I'm not even nice. What I am is what you need. I'm damaged._ He was an idiot. He was right. But every relationship was like that. Beneficial improvement of character. He was an idiot.

She was always doing the opposite of what he said. If he was suddenly cautious, she would throw caution to the wind. If he was his usual self, she'd beg for him to follow regulation. He rather liked when she begged. Not again.

"Ugh. Maybe this is how chicks get their fuzz... Fuzz for bitchiness instead of altruism. Wish it worked for guys."

It all intrigued him. A puzzle. She was a puzzle. Every woman was, but some were harder than others. Cameron. Cameron was a 3D puzzle, and he was missing a dimension. He knew her so well, yet knew nothing about her.

She was selfless, not the fake kind for fuzz seeking bastards. The real kind that was enough in itself to have House's ear perked. But, she was more. He knew almost nothing of her past. He was missing that third dimension.

**LID**

She couldn't believe she had left the tape in her car. Stupid thing to do. The place was quarantined off and she had forgotten to bring the tape to close it again. She made a note to never do that again.

Yet another thing she couldn't believe. House. He was right there. Right behind her watching her in that stupid disgusting suit.

"What are you doing here?"

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"Well, I'm here to take you back to my office and give you a spanking, you broke the rules, punishment is inevitable. Ooh, samples, huh? Maybe I should rub your nose in them too."

What was that smirk that crossed his face when he said "spanking"?

"It doesn't matter that I'm here. I've been exposed. Foreman broke my skin with a tainted needle."

"And you ran here to do exactly what he wanted? I'd have stabbed him back... No. Scratch that. I'd have killed him."

"I was exposed! I'm not here for him! I'm here to save myself!"

"Yeah, that's why your wearing that hazmat suit. A needle, Allison? Please, you're a better doctor than that. You know that it's very unlikely you'd have been contaminated. Not to mention that fact that we have found nothing in the bloodstream so far. It's not blood-borne."

He knew, just like she thought. But he was sure of himself. Wait. Had he just used her first name? Something weird is going on. This is not the regular House. He wasn't as distant. He seemed almost... worried?

She took off her headgear.

Then he got close. Too close. What was going on?

**LID**

It was odd how taking off hazmat gear ad flicking the hair could turn him on. Well, that hair flick worked with anything, on any guy. Worked best without a shirt or bra, but hell, this was good enough. She was hot even in the gear. She wasn't Pam Anderson, she didn't have the boobs. But Pam was disgusting if she wasn't made up. No, Allison was beautiful without that crap.

She stared at him. Her eyes were deep, engulfing. He moved in closer to her. His mind was running on a thousand things. The disease wasn't first priority right now. It was a close second, but it wasn't first. He saw a pigeon out of the corner of his eye. Well, maybe it was tied for first. He knew what needed to be checked. He didn't want to send her in again. No, this was a bad thing. It was insane to send her in again, murder if she got infected. Unless he figured it out.

It was then he realized how close he was to her. He realized that his subconscious had set him up. He was not in control of this situation. He was not in control. The one thing he treasured the most, and he didn't have it. His heart had committed him to this. He thought he had defeated the little bugger, but he hadn't. The damn thing was again controlling him. His mind was gone. His control gone.

He kissed her. It was a delicate kiss. Their lips barely touched. It left him wanting more, he couldn't though. He had already given in to his heart. He couldn't let it gain more ground. His counter part on the other hand, had different ideas.

**LID**

He just kissed her. He just kissed her!

It didn't make sense. It made no sense at all. He was the one who turned her down. He was the one who was closed off from society. She couldn't let him change his mind like that. He had to earn her back, not just take her. But, it was too late.

She had launched herself at him. She kissed him with everything she had. Heart, soul, and body. Her mind was abruptly brought forth from her ponderings and then she kissed him with that too. There was nothing but them now. Nothing at all.

**LID**

What was happening? This was too crazy, too terrible to imagine, and too perfect to want. But despite his misgivings, he kissed her back. Every qualm he had ever had about being with her was taken from him. He wanted her and there was nothing else except that, nothing at all.

He pulled away.

**LID**

Why did he pull away? It was so perfect, so beautiful. There was a connection there she had never felt with him before. A connection she hadn't felt with anyone since she was widowed. Why?

**LID**

"You're going back in. Suit up."

"What?"

"Allison, I'm terrified," a pause and a tear. "Now, suit up."

He worried. He worried like he'd never worried before. He was genuinely scared. And he let her see it. She'd know either way. She'd just torn down his wall. He was Syd Barret no longer. Pink could not personify his character anymore. He was a normal, albeit obnoxious man. But he was a man again, she had opened his wounds for cleansing. He would live again.


End file.
